MUST READ.....How long should courtship last?

hehehehe...Courtship is a period when partners develop a romantic relationship and get to know each other better before tying the nuptial knot. During this period, they are expected to discuss, among other things, their future with one another. However, duration of this period has always been a subject of controversy. This is why Fidelis Chidi blog  sought the opinions of some Nigerians on how long real courtship should last

It shouldn’t be more than 6 years

 Oyinkansola Aderibigbe

It depends on the people involved, their experience, their maturity, exposure, and understanding. I have seen relationships lasting for six years and eventually the partners didn’t still get married. I believe there must be a limit to it. Dating someone for 15 years is not proper at all. The only thing is that if they can manage and understand a bit about themselves, they shouldn’t waste time at all on it. The earlier they marry, the better. I feel courtship shouldn’t last for more than six years; if it is longer than that, it might cause partners to lose interest.

Three years is good enough

Olayinka Oyero

Courtship must not be too long or too short. It shouldn’t be less than three months and more than three years. Three years is enough for me to study someone. I might not know everything about the person, but I would have known enough. When a courtship is too long, the partners might get tired of it. It must not be too short, though. There are exceptional cases whereby your partner is someone you have been friends with for long, so you might not spend a long period in courtship.

Two years is okay

Caroline Olaonipekun

Courtship should take a minimum of six months, depending on the ages of the partners. If their ages are between 22 and 24, then they are early on the path of marriage, so they must not make it longer than a year because they could easily be distracted if they wait for too long. For older partners, their courtship shouldn’t be more than two years too. However, maturity determines the duration of courtship because some people can be young and have more understanding than older ones.

I’ll go for seven years

Odeniyi Busola

Courtship should be long and not short. In a long courtship, one has a bigger opportunity of knowing more of his/her potential spouse’s behaviour, especially the hidden ones that cannot be known in just a year. Long courtship also helps in knowing more about your partner’s background, that is, where they come from, family background, and so on. Also, long courtship gives room for the partners to build their home before marriage. So I’ll go for seven years.

At most, three years

Agada Faith

Courtship should be short, between one and three years, at most. Even if one is in a long relationship, you will never know everything about your partner until you are married. Why go for long courtship when the only place you can know yourselves is in the marriage proper? Long courtship can cause partners to go into sexual intercourse before marriage, which is dangerous. I don’t subscribe to long courtship at all; it makes the journey less certain, although it works for a few people.

The duration shouldn’t be fixed

Adeniyi Osunde

The duration of courtship should not be fixed. Courtship should end when both parties are ready, mature enough and have all it takes to start a home and ready to accept each other regardless of their flaws. This is why marriage is for couples who have understanding. Financial status is also key. Having some material things is part of your readiness for marriage. Having good jobs to be able to provide for the home is very important. One may be old, but if you don’t have all of these, I don’t think you are fully ready.

It should be determined by age and understanding

Olajide Oladokun

Duration of courtship should be based on the ages and level of understanding of the partners. If both partners are already old, say between 35 and 40 years, their courtship should be between one or two years. But if they are younger, between three and five years is okay. Mine was 12 years and my marriage is successful today. I would not advise that people should do like I did because it might not work for them. The success of the marriage depends mostly on the understanding of the partners.

Courtship doesn’t have time limit

Adeniji Kehinde

Courtship is a journey; it does not have a specified time limit. There must be an understanding between the partners and their families. It is not how long, but how well and successful. The most important thing is for partners to understand each other and be ready. I have seen a relationship where there wasn’t any courtship at all and the marriage is successful today. Not everyone can have a case like this, though. However, I will encourage partners to spend maybe three years in courtship.

Courtship doesn’t have duration

Olusanya Adokie

Courtship doesn’t really have duration, but it shouldn’t be more than eight years because in most cases, it scatters after that. It is for mature minds to determine their marriage is under the protection, guidance and blessings of their parents and mentors. The partners should concentrate on developing deep friendship that could lead to marriage, which is not based on how long the courtship lasts.

Duration of courtship doesn’t determine marital success

Adegboyega Babatunde

As for me, one should marry his close friend because marriage is a risk and courtship is very important. Courtship should not be long at all. It should be a minimum of six months and a maximum of a year, because if it is more than that, so many things would come up, like cheating on each other or loss of interest. Partners must not waste time at all. Experience has made me to know that if partners wait too long before getting married, they are just wasting their time. The success of the marriage is what we want, which is not dependent on how long the courtship is. Anyone courting for more than a year is a time waster and doesn’t have what he is pursuing. Two, three years is a waste of time.