All that they ever care about is getting satisfied sexually. Nobody seems to consider the fact that the same organs that have helped them to achieve sexual enjoyment ought to be serviced regularly. As long as married couples fail to realise this fact, the farther they may be from marital bliss.
The breasts, for example, are some of the most prominent sex organs of the human body. A wise woman would do well to keep them clean, well-packaged and closely examined at all times.
Sometimes a reddish bump may appear on a breast. If it does not grow bigger and its colour does not change, then you should consider it harmless. But if it is, at least, the size of a pencil eraser and contains two or more shades of red, or has a raised rough border, it is better to have it checked out by a dermatologist because it could turn out to be skin cancer.
If a woman feels a sharp pain in her breast, she shouldn’t panic. A sharp, localised pain is likely to be triggered by recent trauma to the breast. It is possible that her man played rough during foreplay and he may have injured that part of her body without realising it. The pains should subside without any medication. If the pain persists after some days, she should see her doctor.
During foreplay, you may observe your nipple drip a yellow or whitish fluid. There is no cause for alarm. A harmless swelling, which contains fluid that may drain out when your breast is squeezed to a point, may be the cause. Also it may be caused by a congested milk pipe, which naturally goes away on its own. Sometimes couples may notice that the nipples and areolas of their partners are darker and larger than expected. Well, the size and colour of the nipple may depend on your genes. Some women inherit tiny nipples with pale areolas; others have red, purplish, or even black ones that may span as wide as four or more inches across. Besides, sometimes ladies’ breasts may likely not get bigger than they are, except in pregnancy or when they add extra pound. This is because some women hit their mammary maximum in their teenage years, while others keep expanding well into their early twenties. If your breasts have increased in size within the past 12 months, they may not have finished developing. But if the size of your bra hasn’t bulged for a few years, you’ve probably already hit your genetically predetermined peak.
It is dangerous to neglect the vagina, which is, perhaps, the most important female sex organ. If you wish to prolong the life span of this fantastic and most expensive tool, then take very good care of it. Sometimes the vagina hurts during and after sex. Naturally this is caused by vaginal dryness. For this reason, husbands should ensure that their wives are fully aroused before they proceed to penetrative sex. Also they could try a water-based lubricant on their wives. On the other hand, the constant use of condoms may also cause pain during intercourse. But if you’ve determined that none of these is the cause of your discomfort, see your family doctor. You may have an infection.
Sometimes when the vagina is unusually dry, some experts believe that it can be caused by stress. The chances are that the wife may simply be dehydrated — possibly because of excess anxiety, worries and work. Naturally when a lady is stressed out, she is usually not thinking about getting enough fluids into her system and she might be drinking excess beverages, such as ‘soft drinks.’ Some sex experts recommend drinking eight glasses of water daily to stay lubricated. Most times, women get more vaginal infections with frequent sex and they wonder why. Basically during sex, the man’s penis can push some rectal bacteria present near the woman’s vaginal opening into her urethra, thereby triggering an infection. But couples are always advised to make sure that their genitals are cleansed with soap before hitting the sheets. Also urinating immediately after sex will help.
Sometimes while having a bath, some newly wedded ladies become alarmed if they locate a piece of whitish tissue hanging from their vagina, especially if they are not using any contraceptives. The tissue may just be a leftover piece of your hymen, the membrane partially covering your vaginal opening, which usually tears the first time you have intercourse. When the hymen breaks in the middle, a tissue remnant can remain at the opening, where you may not notice it, for a long time before falling off.
Some ladies who have constantly had normal vaginal delivery, and have been given episiotomy over time may notice that their labia (the lips of the vulva) are long and uneven. Such ladies often wonder if they are okay. If you are one of them, I think the best thing to do is relax. It is not uncommon for one side of your labia to be a bit longer than the other, even though long or lopsided labia are nothing to be ashamed of or worried about.
The uterus is also another amazing sex organ that is so fragile and must be handled cautiously, especially when it comes to using contraceptives. It is not safe to expose this organ to uncensored pills and examinations. But at the same time, examinations like Pap smear must be done regularly to determine the state of the uterus. After the examination, you may notice a few drops of blood. But they are nothing to worry about. To do a Pap test, your doctor brushes a spatula-like device against your cervix, collecting mucus which put under a microscope might reveal abnormal cells. It is possible for the device to scratch the cervix, triggering a small amount of bleeding. But alert your doctor, if the spotting goes on for more than 24 hours or if it is a steady flow of blood. Either is a sign of a potentially serious infection.
A woman who is still in her child-bearing age may likely experience some side effects by going off birth-control pills, even though the symptoms may vary depending on the specific hormone combo in the oral contraceptive.
The clitoris is another female sex organ that requires a lot of attention. It is the organ that enhances sexual enjoyment in a woman. It varies in size and shape, although appearing to be divided in some women’s bodies, like two pearls, and sometimes causing them to feel a little embarrassed.
But the fact that the clitoris may assume this dual form does not mean there is a medical problem. Nor does it mean that it will trigger off multiple sensations in a woman when caressed.
The truth is that no matter what a lady looks like down there, the clitoris has the same capacity for helping her to achieve orgasm when it is appropriately stimulated. The clitoris consists of 8,000 nerve fibres, which is about twice as many as the male penis contains. When stimulated, it becomes as hard as the penis. This important sex organ should be tenderly caressed during lovemaking, in order not to inflame it and to avoid an infection. It must not be cut off in the name of female circumcision.
When cleaning up, ladies should avoid the use of too much alkaline soap because it can disturb the natural ph level of the vulva and as a result, make the clitoris hard and painful. The reason is that the female vulva, which comprises the clitoris and other organs, produces slightly acidic ph that encourages growth of a bacteria known as lactobacillus, which keeps the clitoris in a healthy condition for as long as possible.
The clitoris is the sex organ that makes it possible for a lady to have an orgasm. If she keeps experiencing healthy orgasms, there is the possibility that she won’t even have any more menstrual pains and cramps. Sexual orgasm actually minimizes or prevents menstrual pain and cramps. This is because the vigorous muscular activity that takes place during orgasm, down in the clitoris, releases tension and soothes pain, such that if a lady is turned off sex because she is suffering from menstrual pain and her husband demands it, it will eventually be to her advantage.
Interestingly, orgasm increases the chances of conception occurring after intercourse. This is because when a lady experiences orgasm, she retains more sperm in her body, thereby increasing the possibility of fertilization taking place in her womb. But couples should avoid frequent sexual intercourse during the wife’s menstrual period because she is more susceptible to infections at this time than any other.
Did you know that having orgasmic sex three times in a week burns off between 7,500 and 15,000 calories in a year?
Besides, a healthy orgasmic sex is a natural antihistamine that can help combat asthma and common cold. That is why couples do not catch cold or sneeze in the middle of sexual act.
The skin is another sexual organ that must be cared for. Couples should endeavour to have regular bath, at least twice daily, to prevent bad body odour. So when couples form the habit of washing up in the morning and at bedtime, they are very likely to end up having very healthy skins, such as would be sexually appealing. But salty food, alcohol, soft drinks, and cigarettes can leave the skin in a bad shape, as a result of an overload of toxins. To enjoy the service of your skin in a good sexual relationship, it will be wise to steer clear of highly salty foods. Similarly, the level of alcohol intake should be minimised because it affects the liver. Excess alcohol also affects your ability to enjoy good sex.
The mind is another important key to building a good sexual relationship. Married couples should always strive to keep their minds free of hurtful memories, inhibiting notions and stress, in order to increase sexual enjoyment. You must on a regular basis make up your mind to always forgive your spouse, regardless of his or her offence. You may never have a healthy sexual relationship with your partner until you are ready to overlook his or her faults.
QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS
Do sex toys spread STDs?
Yes. Actually there is a possibility of an infected sex toy spreading infection and diseases to your married partner and even other family members who play around with such. If you don’t clean them and you share them with your partner, of course STDs may spread. It is important that after each use, wash items in warm, soapy water with a splash of bleach. Rinse well.
Mrs Gregory
His premature ejaculation getting out of hand
Hello Mrs. Akingbade,
I’m an ardent reader of your column (sex and sexuality) on the pages of Saturday Punch. Over the time, I have found most of the issues treated very educative, informative and enlightening. The fact that you always restrict and direct your topics to couples gladdens my heart the most. You may not know you are helping many marriages. Even those who criticise your column being on the pages of newspapers are profiting from the invaluable points you make in the secret of their bedrooms with their spouses. This is to encourage you to be focused and not get distracted, let the emphasis continue to be directed to couples and couples only. However, I have this question for you; few years ago, due to infections and a difficult childbirth experience, I had a terrible vaginal scar tissue and a damaged gland. As a result, sexual intercourse became very painful for me. Because of the pains, my husband would always release prematurely. However, long after I was cured, he cannot hold on his ejaculation for two minutes. I understand this is not his fault and I also understand his need for regular sex but his premature ejaculation is embarrassingly getting out of hand. I dread having sex, because it is so frustrating. My husband insists that if I love him, I will keep on enduring, but should I keep enduring it out of love? Resentment is growing between us.
Mrs Adefila Ilori
The idea of “enduring” sex for any reason could be distressing to some spouses. We human beings are created with such a marvelous ability to proffer solutions. I’m usually optimistic about the potential and probability for healing. If premature ejaculation is the object of the growing resentment between you both, help is just not too far at all. Just introduce some of the natural herbs to your man and I am certain you will celebrate the best sex ever. Working through this type of problem can deepen your relationship. Expressing love to each other as you consider each other’s needs and difficulties can help you both to realise how important you are to each other. The key again is communicating openly, tenderly and unselfishly. When we work to meet one another’s needs, our love for each other expands and deepens. I hope you will use this difficulty to let that happen. And remember he was there for you while you were going through your pains. As a matter of fact, it was your challenge that made him to start having PE; so why not also help him out.
Sex so disappointing
I recently got married and I had waited for this moment. My husband is a nice man but sex with him is such a let-down. Is all the ‘mind-blowing’ sex talk just a media hype or is it really working?
Helpless new bride
So, your long-awaited expectations were dashed due to inexperience and you feel sex does not worth it. No, you got it wrong and blaming your man is unfair. Mind-blowing sex is not media hype – but the responsibility for good sex is 50/50 between couples and a skill that takes time and patience. Do you know what turns him on? Have you told him what feels good for you? Do not give up!
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