How to know a man loves you.......Interesting

Apart from verbal expression, another way to know a man’s true feeling and intention might be to listen carefully to the tone of his voice.

In other words, beyond other body language dispositions like eye contact, casual touching, such as touching someone’s hair playfully, impressive oral expression, attractive physical appearance and endearing credentials, another way men signal their interest or express their intention to women that they find attractive is the tone of their voice, a study has revealed.

The study, led by Juan Leongómez, a psychologist at the University of Stirling, Scotland, United Kingdom, has revealed that men make subtle changes to their voices when talking to women they find attractive, and that the changes help to make the men more attractive to women at whom their speech is directed.

According to the study, published in the Journal Evolution and Human Behaviour, how men say things, not just what they say, can make all the difference in their relationship.

This probably explains why a man who might have been shouting and disturbing the entire premises would naturally soften and calm his voice when he wants to talk or answer a call from a woman he finds attractive.

Interestingly, the same man who calms his voice when he wants to talk to an attractive woman would not hesitate to shout at a fellow man under the same circumstance. However, men may not be alone in this, which also explains why they may start to like a woman on hearing her voice on the phone even if they had not met before.

In the study of 110 heterosexual men and women, who were either native English or Czech speakers, the vocal patterns of men talking to people they found attractive were compared with when they spoke to people they found unattractive.

It was observed that the male speakers of both languages varied their tone more when they spoke to women they found attractive, thereby speaking in a ‘sing-song’ voice, while they spoke with a deep voice when speaking to the women they found less attractive, even though some female listeners found that style of speech more attractive too.

The findings showed that non-participants in the study also responded to the subtle differences because when the voice recording of a man speaking to a woman he found attractive was played to female listeners, the listeners found the voice more attractive than a recording of the same man speaking to a woman he found less attractive.

Interestingly, the men whose voices were recorded were Czech and the bystanding female listeners were British, thus, the experiment was designed to ensure that the women did not understand the words being spoken. Rather, the important factor was how it was spoken, which indicates that the male speakers’ attractiveness was due to their subtle voice changes, rather than what they were saying.

In an interaction, some respondents told Saturday Punch that they had also observed that men do not only comport themselves better when in the presence of attractive women, they spoke more responsibly, whether in a bid to be accepted or develop friendship or a romantic relationship.

Mr. Olanrewaju Ojo, who is in his mid-thirties, told our correspondent that his friends had always accused him of changing his voice and assuming a well-behaved disposition anytime he talked to women even during phone conversations.

“My friends used to tell me that I speak a lot of grammar and refined English accent when talking to women and that apart from my subtle voice, the way I smile in such cases is different, which seems true because I have observed that indeed I do it. I don’t think we do it necessarily to get something, it’s more of being polite and sounding very interesting.

“Even if we decide to place a bet, playfully though, they have always been right. It tells me that it is true and I have observed same thing among all of them but I found out that the degree of the modulation differs. I think all men do it, especially, the young ones,” he explained.

Leongómez, the lead researcher, said it is important for men to sound masculine, which is manifested in a deeper voice pitch, but that extreme masculinity can be associated with negative traits in a partner, like a tendency for increased aggressiveness and promiscuity.

“This puts men in a dilemma, because they have to convey two seemingly contradictory messages at the same time, ‘I am a masculine man’, and ‘I’d be a good partner and father.’ The solution may be to vary their pitch, which would explain the sing-song quality of the voices we observed in men speaking to attractive women.

“Previous research has shown that humans signal their romantic interest in different ways, including non-verbal behaviours and body languages, while our study shows that people also modulate their voices to signal romantic interest and that this, in turn, seems to make the speaker seem more attractive,” he explained.

Leongómez said further that if a woman perceives a man’s voice to be interesting, then it is likely that the man finds her attractive. However, these vocal modulations are very subtle and may not have been produced consciously by the speaker.

“Additionally, while the vocal modulations help make a person sound more attractive to the opposite sex, people do not seem to be aware of why they find the voice more attractive,” he added.

The study adds that one of the ways people would know if the opposite sex wants a relationship with them is in the voice and that voice modulations make the person speaking to sound more attractive to the listener.

The study showed that when it comes to the language of love, it is not only about what is being said, it is more of how it is being said.

Reacting to the study, a psychologist, Prof. Toba Elegbeleye, explained that it is a normal social reaction for men to modulate their voice when they meet attractive women because a lot of activities go on in their physiology when they meet such women, which could change the way they look and talk among other things.

He added that men would not want to let loose their vocal ability when talking to women because of their fragile nature, hence, they modulate their voice, unlike when talking to their male counterparts when the coarseness of the voice is there.

He said, “It also has to do with social conformity, which makes people to put everything in moderation for them to be equally noticed, accepted, welcomed or look attractive too, and that is why men who have been shouting and howling will reduce their noise immediately a beautiful woman enters. It is not intentional; rather, it is instinctual and natural.

“So, when you see something, there is a number of physiological reactions that take place in your body system and your brain is not left behind in processing certain things. Before you know it, you want to really conform to its dictates.

“It’s not for mere saying that many men who can be considered as brilliant and very strong while dealing with their male counterparts may find it difficult to woo a girl, and when talking, their voice will be shaking.

“That is why the children of today have devised a means of wooing which does not go beyond things like, ‘Can I know you, I think I know you from somewhere’ and using long speeches before making any point. But the use of text messages, mobile phones and internet has made it quite easy.”

Elegbeleye explained that even though women also do it, through their submission to the wishes of the men they find attractive, men do it more because culture has imposed it upon them to make the first move in most cases, which is why a woman would hardly confess to a man that he is attractive.

“It boils down to the fact that a man is less coercive and more pliant when he meets an attractive woman that he loves to have as a friend or as a partner. A woman does exactly the same thing, but using different method, and the voice modulation also works in the bedroom when couples whisper to themselves,” he said.