Hehehe/.....Nothing ruins a relationship or marriage
faster than jealousy; it is a well known fact that jealousy is one of
the biggest problems in both young and old marriages and can often lead
to disunity or eventual break-up if the situation gets worst within the
marriage. Jealousy creates anxiety, anger, loneliness, and hate which
can lead to depression or change of behaviour by the jealous individual
and resentment on the part of the victim as nobody would be thinking
clearly.
Everyone has jealousy tendency
The truth of the matter is that everyone
has painful memories as many people attained adulthood having suffered
disappointments, hurts, abuses, fear, rage, insecurity, rejections to
mention a few. Unfortunately, many carry these pains into their
relationships and onward into their marriages too without thinking of
the consequence. After a hurtful betrayal, trust is the first thing to
go and the last to return because trust has previously been taken away
and what is left is fear and doubt.
A dangerous obsession
It is a dangerous obsession to be in a
relationship with a jealous man/woman, the jealous person acts
untrusting or worthless and they become unpleasant and horrid to
themselves and their spouse.
William Shakespeare called jealousy the
green-eyed monster because it can consume you by undermining your self
esteem and can even drive your spouse into someone else’s arm if left to
control your emotions. No one wants a jealous mate and no one likes
being jealous.
Build your self esteem
Trust is the glue that holds together any
committed, loving relationship and jealousy is a solvent that crumbles
trust, dissolving the bond that keeps two lovers united. If you base
your marriage on trust, you are bound to appreciate positive qualities
and all your shortcomings too. At the basis of jealousy lies a lack of
acceptance and appreciation of yourselves, let your relationship thrive
on trust; when there is trust, you and your spouse can grow, develop and
become responsible to pursue new opportunities.
Ask questions
When you are jealous, a line of
communication is going on with your spouse that is hidden from you. The
mystery causes the pain and can make you assume the worst is about to
happen but the truth is that you need to stop and ask questions through
communication with your spouse in order to resolve the mysteries. This
is also a great time to discuss the mysteries of the past with your
spouse so that you can work out solutions and move forward to make
better plans for the future.
Notes
Nobody is perfect, and jealousy is one of
the many destructive traits some need to deal with occasionally. It
will not test your love if you have the right attitude, but will allow
you to deal with your own shortcomings by gaining perspective.
If you are the jealous spouse, identify
your problem and make a decision to change your behaviour and seek
individual counselling if necessary.
Set fair ground rules that you can both
live with; make an effort to focus on the positive and to appreciate the
good in yourselves and life as a whole.
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