hehehe....The way you express your sexuality is
shaped by your acquisition of relevant knowledge and also by your
individuality and your personal circumstances. Whether you’re newlyweds
or in a long time marital relationship, sexually challenged or
able-bodied, young or old couples, think of your sexuality as a unique
part of who you are. As the saying goes, fine wine and classic cars
improve with age, so also let your sexuality and marriage relationship
improve as the days go by. There are many “right” ways to experience
great sex; today, we shall be looking into how to keep the sexual love
life healthy and hot for years to come.
When able-bodied men noticed that their
erection is different from what it used to be or is not as hard and does
not last as long, coupled with the fact that the experience of
ejaculation may not feel as strong as it used to, they are quick to
associate virility with youthfulness. But I have found out that this may
be due, in part, to just the weakening of the pelvic-floor muscles.
Pelvic-floor muscles are responsible for drawing blood to the genitals
during sexual activity, affecting erection and orgasm. And all that is
needed is just a daily regime of Kegel exercise. The exercise actually
fixes the problem up to 100 per cent regardless of age or prevailing
circumstances.
Another
common occurrence men of all ages notice at one time or the other is
the experience of a longer refractory period; this is the time it takes
the body to be ready for another erection after the first ejaculation,
the period between the first and the next ejaculation. In some cases,
the cooling off period may be as long as 12 to 24 hours or more or
never. If you’ve climaxed, but you or your wife isn’t ready for the
sexual experience to end just yet, the best approach is to focus on
meeting your wife’s needs or on activities that don’t require an
immediate erection. For example, you don’t need an erection for giving
your wife an oral sex or manually stimulating her clitoris or sucking
her breast or giving her a heavy foreplay that leaves her panting and
wanting more. The magic of this is, it helps you to forget about your
present predicament and refocus your attention on some other thing. This
will spontaneously give an unexpected strong magical erection.
However, remember that whatever you do,
don’t get stressed worrying about your virility. This is a sudden
occurrence that comes once in a while and not a sign that you’re losing
your touch. And you will likely find that the different sexual
activities you engage in without an erection are still very pleasurable
for you and your wife. Just be sure to reassure your wife that the
longer time between your erections is not a reflection of how you feel
about her. One of the best ways you can take control of this occasional
occurrence is to press the end of your penis into her clitoral head
while you are thrusting in and out. Make sure you linger in her vaginal
entrance, where the most sensitive nerve endings are. So instead of deep
‘gbam’ ‘gbam’ thrusting, just focus on small, shallow thrusting
movements that penetrate the first two to three inches of her vagina.
This will not only help you to master the ejaculation but will trigger
your wife’s arousal even if she has 3rd degree female genital mutilation
[circumcision] and she will be 90 per cent of the time have a good
orgasm. The trick here is when you help her have an orgasm first, it
relieves you of some of the pressure to perform and the psychological
anxiety that feeds into premature ejaculation. Wave off an early
emission with some extra attention to her arousal because many husbands
by this last much longer the second time around. And the more you
practise, the longer that first time will last.
One best thing that helps this is to
make your wife stay on top always. When she’s on top, your penis is less
stimulated, then ask her to go slowly and slowly; long and fast
thrusting is hazardous to a man’s endurance. This is because the area of
the brain responsible for triggering orgasm is always engaged when
having sex, whether you’re trying to have an ejaculation or trying to
control ejaculation. Whichever way, just know that the more attention
you give it, the more likely it is to arrive. So focus on what’s
happening now, your wife’s silky thighs on your hips, or her erected
nipple on your breast and before you know it, you’ll diffuse pleasure
throughout your whole body instead of premature ejaculation.
Your health plays an important role in
how you experience sex. This is because your body is a complex network
of systems that must function properly in order for you to live your
best. However, three particular systems take centre stage when it comes
to keeping pleasure alive and well in the bedroom as you age; they are
the nervous system, cardiovascular system and endocrine system. It’s
really important for these three systems to work well together in order
for a couple to successfully enjoy their sex life.
Getting sexually excited in the first
place all starts with one of the most vital parts of a man’s central
nervous system, the brain. So the brain is the most important sexual
organ that you have (aside from the penis), because you need to be in a
good place mentally and emotionally to enjoy the benefits of a healthy
sex life. When you neglect a good eating lifestyle, diseases can damage
your nerves like diabetes, which can interrupt nerve signals to the
penis and lead to erectile dysfunction (ED), with other problems like
incontinence of urine which can also damage the nerves.
As arousal works its way from the brain
to the rest of the body, a healthy heart and cardiovascular system play
another big role in the sex life of a couple. Each of the two helps you
maintain an erection. Blood has to flow into your penis when you’re
excited, and then back out after you’ve achieved orgasm. More
importantly, the same kind of plaque that could clog the arteries and
lead to heart attack can also restrict blood flow to the penis,
resulting in ED. That’s why a healthy heart is so key to helping a man
of any age to avoid below-the-belt problems.
Finally, the endocrine system comes into
play via certain hormonal changes in the body. This is where the male
hormone, testosterone, is put to the test. A decrease in the
testosterone levels is normal as any man gets older but it must not be
hampered by sickness, use of substance, pollution and bad eating habit.
Because lack of it is a big reason why many men may feel low on energy
and drive when it comes to having the kind of sex you would have loved
to enjoy.
QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS
What is the meaning of dangerous erection?
Mr. David Suavehu
Dangerous erection is actually a
situation when an erection refuses to go down for hours. This is also
called Priapism. Priapism is a painful and dangerous condition that
happens when blood fills the penis during arousal and fails to drain
out. It can cause permanent harm to the organ by preventing oxygen-rich
blood from entering. After a while, tissues in the penis actually begin
to die due to lack of oxygen. Actually this affects close to about
10,000 men each year. Priapism is a common cause of sickle cell disease,
a blood disorder, in which red blood cells become deformed. The cells
then can get stuck in blood vessels in the penis and block blood flow. A
study found that sickle cell disease accounts for about 20 per cent of
priapism cases. Another common cause is a kind of injection that
sometimes is used to treat erectile dysfunction. In many cases, the
cause is unknown. Whatever the cause, priapism is an emergency that
requires medical treatment right away. Remedies: the safest remedy is to
quickly get to a doctor on time who may use a needle to remove the
stagnant blood and flush out vessels, or inject the penis with a
particular medication to help the blood drain under a very hygienic
atmosphere or perform a surgery to install a by-pass in the penis.
Please, never choose the option of staying home and hope “it” goes away.
No, don’t do it! Getting help promptly is the best way to ensure that
your manhood stays healthy and continues to work for you.
My wife and I have sex once or twice a day for 15-30 minutes each time.
I’m a 54-year-old man with an extremely
active sex life. My wife and I have intercourse once or twice a day for
15-30 minutes each time. Does my activity mean I’m healthy?
Allan, Omoriveh
Waoh! nice to hear this. You are the
envy of lots of men out there. Actually, about one in 20 men your age
have sex more than four times a week, and by the way, almost 50 per cent
of men age 85 with willing wives are still having very pleasurable sex
on a regular basis.
Your ability to have sex is a
yard-stick for your health. It is an indication of a better arterial
health. Here’s what your enviable sex life suggests about your health,
you don’t have bad health habits. You probably don’t smoke, aren’t
overweight, and exercise regularly (outside the bedroom). You don’t have
diabetes. You have plenty of testosterone, although testosterone
normally drops 1%-2% annually after age 30, men with diabetes have
significantly lower levels. You don’t have an over or underactive
thyroid. Typically, thyroid trouble leads to premature ejaculation or an
inability to have sex for 30 minutes at a stretch. Your arteries are
healthy. Guys with hardening of the arteries, which impedes blood flow,
tend not to get the hardening of the penis needed for great sex.
I am certain some other men are satisfying my wife’s sexual appetite
Funmi, I am desperately in need of help.
As I am writing to you now, I am certain some other men are satisfying
my wife’s sexual appetite all because of excessive belly fat. I am 49
years old with very big tummy. Initially, I did nothing about the
excessive fat but when I sensed my wife might be cheating on me, I
started working on it but nothing has worked. Initially during sex, we
used the dog style while on bed, missionary, sitting position. Even with
those styles, my penis just dingles and barely even gets to enter the
tip of her vagina.
Baba Engliso
It’s estimated that one in 10 men
worldwide suffers from erectile dysfunction (ED), as a result of belly
fat. Belly fat doesn’t just spell trouble for your heart and blood
vessels, it is horrible for your sex life, too. Excessive abdominal fat,
known as omentum fat, takes up residence around your liver and other
vital organs. When fat is released from the omentum, some of it goes
straight to your liver and then on to your arteries. And omentum fat can
do serious damage to your blood vessels. Clogged arteries and blood
vessels reduce blood flow, not just to your heart but also to other
critical organs, including your genitals. Without good circulation down
there, men can have trouble getting or maintaining an erection. And both
men and women need increased blood flow in sensitive areas to maximise
sexual pleasure.
It doesn’t take much to turn up your
fat-burning furnace and get your energy levels, self-esteem, and sex
life back on track, just walk more. Walking is one of the best exercises
for minimising belly fat. Taking a brisk 30-minute walk every day helps
keep your fat cells from expanding. Try to measure your waist
regularly; your waist should be a little less than half the number of
inches in your height. And as a general rule, anytime a man’s waist size
reaches 40 inches, his health and sex life are at risk. (Women’s waists
should be no more than 36 inches.). Then replace some of the processed
foods in your diet with oatmeal and lemon drink, instead of soda drink
and in five months, this will become a history.
Have not had sex for four years
I am a widower and for four years now, I have not had sex, will it affect me medically?
Joshua Imobudu
Not at all
Is it safe to have sex with vaginal infections?
Hi Funmi, I am a new bride though I had
been sexually active few months to my wedding. But I am worried over
some things. Why do I get more vaginal infections now that I am married?
Do I have to tell my husband that I am infected? Is it okay to have sex
with the condition because the man is just all over me?
Mrs Preyee Jombo
During sex, your husband’s penis can
propel rectal bacteria present near your vaginal opening into your
urethra. Peeing after sex and cleansing your genital area with soap
before sex will kill those bacteria. Yes, do tell him, just assure him
that the condition is harmless and poses no risk to his health because
they are rarely sexually transmitted diseases. Healthy husbands almost
never develop them. With yeast infection, the vaginal tissues become
inflamed, having sex further increases the irritation and slows down the
healing process. Wait until three days for the infection to clear up
before having sex, since symptoms such as burning, itching, and lack of
lubrication make sex very uncomfortable.
Should I tell my friend?
I am aware that my friend’s husband is
dating their next door neighbour’s wife. My friend doesn’t know about it
yet but the two secret lovers are aware that I know of their escapades;
should I tell my friend or just keep quiet? I don’t want to destroy
another person’s home!
Flipu omo
It is not a wise thing for you to do
the telling. No doubt if you go tell your friend that her husband is
cheating, she may first not believe you, or her husband may turn the
matter upside down and lie that you are actually the one making passes
at him, then your friend may not handle the situation maturely and as
such, your action may lead to the breakage of that marriage. What you
need to do is to pray for your friend’s family to be restored and every
strange woman who has come to put asunder God’s design be separated. If
you pray for them, you are also sowing seeds of prayer for yourself in
future. Besides, you don’t know if this may even endanger your own dear
life. I think you should stay clear.
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