Married
couples have the tendency to hide not only their past, but also the
present, from one another. However, marriage counsellors believe that
when couples keep secrets from one another, it could hurt the
relationship in the long run. They say that openness is key to having a
long-lasting relationship. Therefore, on the issue of openness, We asked some couples whether they could disclose their salary packages to their spouses
I may not if I earn more
Adejumo Mayowa
It depends on the ethics of my job. I may
resort to giving him a range of my pay package. The question is, is he
ready to disclose his own to me? Also, how sure am I that after telling
him, he won’t be hostile to me at home, especially if I earn more than
him at the moment? The maturity of my spouse is important here; it will
make me know whether to disclose the full amount to him or not.
Actually, telling him will make life easier for both of us because it
will help us plan for the future. However, there must be unity, love and
maturity for that to happen.
I can’t hide it forever
Olayinka Olalere
Yes, I can tell him because as my
husband, he is my only confidant. I don’t see any reason why what I earn
should be kept as a secret from my spouse. If I do that, it is bad and I
will not feel relaxed. Will I be able to hide it forever? He is my
better-half because he is my spouse, not a concubine. He should know
everything about me and vice-versa.
I’ll let him know
Adeola Adejinle
He needs to know because that is one of
the benefits of marriage – being a true friend of each other and knowing
about the other person intimately. I cannot profess to be a good and
true wife if I keep secrets from my husband. God forbid that someone
falls sick and he wants to help withdraw some money from my account and
discovers that I had lied to him, he may not trust me again. And that is
where trouble usually begins.
We should both tell each other
Abosede Oluwaseyi
He has every right to know just like I
have the right to know his. We should not hide anything from each other
for peace to reign in the home. There is no point hiding what could be
revealed later. Even if he does not want to know, I will tell him. A man
may not want to ask his wife because of ego, but as a good wife, I will
tell him. The only exception is where one did not marry a friend as a
husband, or one marries a man who squanders resources and does not know
how to manage finances.
Telling him will help us plan
Farayola Temitope
If there is full disclosure, it will help
us to plan together on savings and investments. We may both decide to
keep parts of our income to embark upon a project. If we both keep what
we earn from each other, it may hinder us from doing things together and
that will not be healthy for our home. It may result to ‘injury’ and
create a loophole for not trusting each other. It is better to disclose;
it does no harm.
I’ll tell her
Segun Banjo
It takes nothing away from my life if I
disclose it to her. I think it is pride or ego problem when I refuse to
be open to her in this matter. We are one and we should be open to each
other for peace to reign in the home. If I keep it close to my chest,
she may not trust me in other issues also and this may ruin the
marriage. Disclosure bridges the gap that an enemy may want to create
for us to have problems. As long as I am not a cheat or an illiterate
person, nothing stops me from telling her.
Telling her will breed trust
Adejare Olubukola
I will gladly tell her; and when there is
any increase, I will inform her. She is my better half and I have no
other woman out there who wants the best for me other than her. Telling
her will keep her trusting me and it will grow our love. Keeping secrets
such as this is what destroys many homes. It will avoid unnecessary
quarrel over the state of finance. When she knows how much I earn, she
will know when it is finished. On the other hand, if she is kept in the
dark, she may not believe me if I tell her there is no money.
If I hide it, she’ll find out
Tolu Oyeniran
Yes, I will disclose it for purposeful
planning so that we can both strive to attain financial growth. No
matter how much I earn, disclosure is what brings security. There is no
gain in hiding it. Even if a man tries to hide it, women have ways of
finding out what they want to know except if they don’t want to bother
about it. If companies could carry out annual audits of accounts so that
they could plan ahead for the succeeding period, then I see no reason
why a couple – who are in a lifetime venture – should be keeping secret
about such a trivial issue.
There’s no point hiding it
Adekunle Kolawole
Yes, I think it is a thing of disgrace if
my wife does not know how much I earn. It shows how much I feel unsafe
in hiding it from her. I don’t think I should allow money to be my
master. As a couple, we are one; we should both know where it hurts
either of us. Likewise, when things are rosy for either of us, there is
no point keeping it. If we can see each other’s nakedness, then I don’t
see any reason for keeping what I earn as a secret.
I can’t disclose the exact figure to her
Hakeem Adeboye
Salary disclosure on my part strongly
depends on the amount of money I earn. If my salary is huge to the
extent that it can take care of all our needs and much will still
remain, I may not disclose the full amount to her. I will just give her a
moderate figure. This is for security reasons. If you allow a woman to
know how much you earn, the demand gets higher. She can even turn to
one’s financial manager overnight. so what of you reading this....hehehe
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