She just dropped this in my blog,
where the sender narrated how she had about 12 abortions and how she
can't get pregnant despite being married for years. Her story after the
cut.
As I read your mail, I almost read about my sef! The only
difference is that I was a supposed good girl. I derailed after I was raped and
deflowered because I mixed with the wrong crowd and that was the beginning of
the good girl gone bad image for me.
I also went to a Polytechnic and as at the time I was in my
OND 2, I was still a virgin. I refused to have a boyfriend until I was ready to
marry but my roommate pressured me into dating one of the hottest boys in
school who was asking me out.
I eventually decided to give him a chance but told him I was
a virgin and would want to stay that way till I got married. He accepted and
didn't pressure me for months-so I got comfortable. One day he invited me to
his family house in the guise of helping me with some school work (we were in
the same department but he was my senior in school HND 2). I felt safe as it
was his family house. When we got there, there was just the househelp at home.
I wanted to leave as I felt a little uncomfortable but he reassured me
everything was fine. To cut a long story short-he raped me therby deflowering
me. He didn't trust more than thrice and stopped when he saw blood. He started
apologizing but the deed had been done. I cried so hard, I wanted to die. For
weeks, I wasn't myself. I didn't see him for weeks, he came later crying and
apologizing that he hasn't been able to forgive himself and begged for
forgiveness. I was young, naive and confused so I forgave him but never forgot
that incidence.
A couple of years later, I got married at 24. Unfortunately,
it was abusive and I found out he was married to someone else so I had to end
the relationship. Surprisingly after one year of marraige, there were no
children.
I decided not to get involved with anyone and just stay on
my own. But after sometime, I started an unexpected relationship (a married
man). I still had the belief of no sex unti marraige but unfortunately I slept
with him once and ended the relationship the next day. A month later, I
discovered I was pregnant from that first night.
I didn't suspect I was pregnant until a friend of mine (a
guy suggested it after I became ill and was suspecting malaria). He took me to
a friend of his who is a Doctor. After the required test, it was proved that I
was pregnant. I was adviced to terminate it which I foolishly did.
After about 3years, I started dating someone again (a
married man). We started having sexual intercourse although with my conscience
scolding me. Sometime later, I got pregnant again for. And once more, I terminated
it. After this, I ended the relationship.
That same month when I discovered I was pregnant and
planning to terminate it, another guy worked into my life. I refused because I
was going through a lot at that time (pregnant and thinking about ending my
present relationship). Eventually after terminating the pregnacy, 3months later
I accepted the proposal of this new guy and 6months later we got married.
I told him about the abortions and he said he suspected that I was pregnant the period he was asking me out. Now, almost 7years of marraige, no children. I have gone for tests and various Doctors have said I am alright. So sometimes, I think its just punishment for my actions/foolishness. I have prayed, cried and asked God questions without any result. I regret my actions sometimes feel like killing myself.
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