Having
a plan B is always good, especially in making business decisions or
doing anything else, but it becomes an issue of concern when such
back-up plans find their way into marriages or intimate relationships.
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A study has shown that most women in relationships always have a man as their plan B in case anything happens.
While men have been seen to engage more
in extramarital relationship with the opposite sex even when married,
the study shows that men are not alone in the game as women are also
contenders.
In fact, the study, which found that as
much as half of all women that were surveyed have a fall-back plan on
standby, showed that the back-up is likely to be an old friend,
colleague, gym partners or ex-boyfriend/husband who has always had
feelings for them or fancied them in case their current relationship
fails.
It thus appears women do not want to go
back to the starting line in case there is a break-up in their marriage,
hence, they make adequate provision for an alternative.
For the purpose of this study, a plan B
is a backup boyfriend that a woman has on stand-by, whom she can run
away with in case the current relationship fails.
The research, conducted in the United Kingdom by a creative online market research company, Onepoll.com and published in dailymail.co.uk, surveyed 1,000 women and asked questions about their notion of a backup boyfriend.
The researchers found that half of the
women admitted they had a potential man in mind as a partner they could
fall back on should their current relationship fail or they get
divorced, and such men were people they have known for at least seven
years, usually an old friend, who will be ready and waiting because of
some ‘unfinished business.’
Interestingly, the study found that
married women were more likely to have such a Plan B than those who are
just in a relationship, because the married women do not want to be left
in the cold after a crumbling marriage.
It’s amazing that the women who have a
Plan B appear to be very confident in their second-in-line love as 10
per cent of the women said their Plan B had already confessed his
undying love, while 20 per cent of them said they were confident that
the man at the background (the plan B) would drop everything for them if
they asked them to.”
Interestingly and more disturbing, about
four in 10 revealed they had met their plan B through their present
partner and the Plan B was even a friend to their partner. In other
words, the present partner could have been indirectly instrumental to
the background relationship in which the wife is involved.
The findings showed that, “Slightly more
than four in 10 women said they had got to know the man while they were
already with their partner, while a similar percentage said the man had
been ‘on the scene’ long before.
“Perhaps one of the most surprising
revelations about the survey was that one quarter of the women who said
they had a backup partner in mind had strong feelings for the other man
as they did for the man they are married to. And incredibly, 12 per cent
went as far as to admit their feelings were ‘stronger’ for the Plan B
man than for their husband while 70 per cent are in contact with plan B.
“About half had a ‘never say never’
approach, while trouble may lie ahead for one in six who said they were
seriously considering rekindling their romance with the man in the
shadows.”
But despite the secrecy involved in
having a close friend or ex to turn to, the real husband appears not to
be in the dark about the Plan B as about half of the women who took part
in the poll admitted their current partner had met the other man on few
occasions. Of this percentage, one in five said they were able to joke
about the third party with their partner, but one in three said their
partner was uncomfortable discussing about him.
However, the relief from the startling
revelation in this study was that one in three women said they doubted
anything would ever happen with the man in the background, which is at
the least, good news for the men.
Considering the enormity of the findings of the study, a spokesman for OnePoll.com
said, “For our research to establish that 50 per cent of women in
relationships have a ‘Plan B’ is a worrying sign. This news may cause a
few men in relationships to think twice about their partners.
“This could spark fear in men and be
great news for women looking for that extra bit of love and care so that
their attentions aren’t swayed. The saying that the grass is not always
greener clearly is not deterring women of today. They understand that
anything can happen and are ensuring they have a solid back-up plan
should things go sour with their current man.
“With sites like Facebook and Twitter,
it’s easier than ever to stay in touch with an old flame. Men need to be
aware of their women’s ‘old friends’ that turn up out of the blue.”
Even though men were not surveyed, 46 per
cent of the women surveyed suspected that their husband or boyfriend
might have their own backup woman.
According to a review by TheArtofCharm.com,
a site dedicated to helping people develop world class social skills,
men should know that keeping a woman happy is part of what makes the
relationship healthy. “Men should always try and keep the relationship
fresh. The good news is that it is not a chore, but a lot of fun.
“This is a wake-up call for couples who
let their relationships become routine and let the romance die. So, men,
don’t be replaced with a Plan B man. Be your lady’s Plan A and only
plan by keeping the romance alive,” it added.
Reacting to the study, a psychologist,
Prof. Oni Fagboungbe, said certain personality components in women such
as being afraid, feeling insecure and vulnerable could make them to have
a plan B even after being married.
He explained that the inability of such
women to outgrow such traits, which he said were peculiar to ‘id’
personality in women, would make them have a Plan B. He noted that apart
from insecurity, material and sexual enjoyment could make women have a
backup plan even whilst being married to another man.
He said, “Like babies, women feel
vulnerable and insecure – have the fear that things could change – thus,
such sense of insecurity could be the factor that would cause such
ladies to have backups and since the backup man is somebody they are
close to, they may take such decision after comparing the two.
“There are two variables, apart from the
insecurity factor, that could make women to do such; material gains or
sexual enjoyment, and it has been discovered that sexual supply is more
powerful than the material supply because they may want to enjoy sex
maximally, so they do that to have a standby option or to complement
what they get from home.
“If we break down the insecurity factor,
it could be the inability of the partner to provide for their needs,
violence in the home or inadequate attention, so, many variables could
cause it. And by virtue of any of these factors, a woman could reach out
to an old friend as a standby alternative in case the present
relationship fails.”
He noted that even though the survey was
carried out in the UK, the young women of today seem to have perfected
the act of having backup plans to their marriage, even though a black
woman would not own up to having a backup.
“Some of our little ones here do it a
lot, if not more than the white people, but they will not own up. It’s
human behaviour. Some could have up to three or four, even while married
and they do so for either material gains, sexual enjoyment or to feel
secured, as women do not want their well being or security threatened.
They want to do everything possible to make sure they are secured,” he
added.
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