SEE RESPONSES...What will you do if your spouse confesses he/she had been married before with a kid?

hehehe.... Sometimes, some pasts are known to partners only after marriage and this can threaten the survival of such new homes. This is possibly why marriage counsellors usually advise partners to open up to themselves before tying the nuptial knot. If they got married to someone they didn’t know had been married before with a child, Agaain , Fidelis Chidi blog  asked some Nigerians what they would do

 

I‘ll find it hard to trust him again

Ajayi Funke

I will be very disappointed in him for not telling me before our marriage. I will find it difficult to trust him again. Thereafter, I will not do any joint investment with him again. Any asset I acquire will be in the name of my children. It happened to a close friend of mine who got married to a man who already had a child. For six years, my friend was childless, and it was later when she sought for prayers that she was told that her husband’s child must live with her before she could give birth. That’s when she knew. Thank God she wasn’t much devastated. She agreed and now she has four children.

The child will live with his/her father

Azeez Jelili

I will be sad, but because I love her, I will forgive her. She might think that if she told me before our marriage, I might not marry her again. Anyhow, the child must be with his/her father. If not, the home will be very hot for us. I’ll even be happy she tells me. What if she doesn’t tell me or she tells me that all our children are not mine? What would I do then?

I’ll be happy if he tells me just before he dies

Adebola Akinrinde

I will be very happy if he tells me just before his death and not that someone comes and tells me this after he dies. Telling me earlier on could cause problems between me and the woman outside. As his legally married wife, he has to share all his property with me and my children. The property does not belong to any other woman elsewhere. If this happens, there is nothing else to do but to accept my cross.

I’ll do DNA tests for all my children

Sunday Odejobi

I will fight her for even telling me. That means she doesn’t love me. If she does, she would have told me before marriage. At that time, I would be happy for opening up and might decide to marry her with the child if I truly loved her. But telling me now, she is heartless and can even kill me. Meanwhile, I will instantly do DNA tests for my children to confirm if I’m really their father. Though the child she had doesn’t make her irresponsible, at least she should have told me.

I’ll accept my fate

Faith Jimoh

I will accept it as my fate because I can’t be angry over a child. The child is innocent. If I don’t accept, what will I do? I might be referred to as a witch. The only thing I need from him is to take care of my children and me. If he even decides to bring the child and the woman to our home, there is no problem at all as far as he takes care of all of us.

I’ll send her packing!

Ayodele Opejobi

When I proposed to her, why didn’t she tell me she had a child? I would be like, is she crazy? This will reduce the trust and love I have for her. She might even have a concubine outside because a woman who keeps such secret can possibly kill me. I will take my children and send her away. I will do DNA tests for my children because the children may not be mine but that of her old husband.

I’ll pray for him

Grace Olufemi

It will be painful to hear, but I won’t be sent to an early grave because of someone else’s problem. I will put my husband in God’s hand to judge. After 20 years of marriage with five children, where do I start from? Which man would want to marry me at this point that I can’t bear children again? I will not want to be left alone at this point. A wise woman builds her home while the foolish scatters it. I will pray that the house should continue to be peaceful and God should bless my husband to take care of my children.

I will divorce her

David Fagboun

Why didn’t she tell me all this while? I will divorce her because I didn’t do such to her. There is no amount of pleading, I will never accept her back. There will be dissolution so she can go back to her old husband, while I take care of my children. If I forgive her, some other secrets will erupt soon because lies beget lies and lies hide under other lies. She is a wicked woman to have done that to me. I will not look at how we started or the love between us. I will divorce her by all means.

I won’t love him again

Adiat Ayelokun

The house that I have been building for so long, a woman would now come and take over? I will be shocked that he could do that to me despite all the suffering we had together. Since I already have children, I won’t replicate true love because he has shown me how wicked he is. The love I have for him will be naturally cut off. I won’t love him again, though I will still live in his house. He cannot enjoy the best of me as a wife again as I will reduce all that I have been doing because he has not shown genuine love and sincerity with me.

She‘ll leave my house if her ex is alive

Biodun Saheed

I’ll look at the matter in two ways — if her previous husband is still alive, she will leave my house that day, but if the man is not, she will stay. If the old husband is alive, they might be having a secret affair that I may not know of. If the man is dead, I’ll allow her to live with me, but with warnings and threats.