See Why beautiful women marry less attractive men

Hehehe....She was the cynosure of all eyes, even though it was her friend’s marriage anniversary. Beautiful, gorgeous and charming were some of the words that aptly describe her. In the midst of her friends where she sat in the host’s expansive sitting room, all eyes were on her.

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Dressed in a simple gown, she was looking very beautiful and admirable. While some, including fellow women, stole glances, some others made looking at her a temporary engagement. Notably, 32-year-old Igwe Jessica has (effortlessly) all it takes to keep a wandering eye busy.

However, the attention on her took a nosedive for what qualifies as shock and surprise when her husband stepped in and she stood to welcome him.

“All I could observe was that their countenance changed,” she said, adding that “The change was so obvious; they appeared surprised that I was married to such a relatively short, dark man. I know they were expecting to see a fair, tall and very handsome man, but my husband is not particularly like that. But you know what, he has all I want in a man.

“One of my friends even asked me, ‘Are you for real’ in a mischievous way. I almost felt ashamed, but, guess what, I love him for who he is. He appreciates and supports me, and that is good enough for me. His facial look was not even part of the things I considered when I agreed to marry him. He has other things that are more important to me than his looks. So, I’m happy with my choice.”

Jessica’s experience suitably describes one of the many issues that surround choice of a partner and the place of attractiveness in marriage. It also gives an idea of what some beautiful women married to less attractive (ugly) men go through. Such combinations are everywhere.

Suffice it to say one factor that seems to play a very prominent role when it comes to taking a decision on the choice of a partner is how good looking the person is. It is so important to some people that it (wholly) forms the basis of their decision.

To some people, it goes as far as influencing the level of their confidence in the presence of friends, colleagues and family members, and it enjoys prominence above other requirements like income level, background, job type, etc.

Findings have shown that while men give so much prominence to a woman’s looks or attractiveness, women on the other hand, pay less attention to a man’s looks but rather give more attention to other factors, like security and a man that would appreciate and support them.

It was also gathered that other factors that influence women’s choice of a partner include personality, focus, wealth, social status, intelligence, background, fatherly qualities, reputation and sometimes masculinity.

In other words, while men consider a woman’s attractiveness or endearing physique, women pay less attention to good looks and focus more on other things, some of which were identified above. Thus, anyone who feels a beautiful woman married an unattractive man because of money might be living in the past.

Given beautiful women’s preference for less attractive men, does it imply that these women chase ugly men? No.

A study published on telegraph.co.uk points out that men who are less attractive usually go after the beautiful women, unlike handsome men who wait for the women to come to them.

It stressed that the confidence, optimism and persistence of such ugly men who approach beautiful women could make such women find them attractive eventually.

Some women who spoke to us explained that being in a relationship with a less attractive man gives them security, peace of mind, as ladies would not find such men attractive, and that such men oftentimes reciprocate by being committed to making the relationship work.

“Most women want men who can make them feel loved, secured, appreciate them and if a man is able to do those things, coupled with an appreciable social status, among other things, then, he would be a woman’s choice, one of them said.

Men tend to behave better when in the presence of an attractive woman, thus, it can be argued that the men who are married to such women tend to do everything possible to sustain their marriage, which would make the marriage to be more exciting.

Prof. Dan Ariely, an expert in behavioral economics, in a post on livescience.com explained that men are very sensitive to women’s attractiveness, while women seem to be sensitive to men’s height and salary.

Another researcher, James McNulty, from the University of Tennessee, United States, explained that the role of physical attractiveness in serious relationships, even though mysterious, could not be overemphasised. He noted that women do not place much emphasis on how good looking a man is, as long as the man appreciates them, makes them feel loved, caring and supportive.

He said, “The husband who is less physically attractive than his wife is getting something more than maybe he can expect to get. He’s getting something better than he’s providing at that level. So he’s going to work hard to maintain that relationship.”

He added that when men are more attractive, they could be less committed to the sustainability of the marriage because of their access to women that are more attractive than their spouses and they tend to take such women for granted.

One of the studies conducted to unravel why beautiful women prefer ugly men found that a marriage that has such combination tends to last longer as they would be more positive and supportive of each other, unlike when the man looks better than the woman.

According to a study by Benjamin Karney of the University of California, Los Angeles, when a woman marries a man who is less attractive or uglier than she is, they are more likely to have a happier marriage compared to when the man is more attractive than the woman.

The study, reviewed on nydailynews.com, added that if the woman is more attractive than the man, they tend to be content and supportive of each other. In examining the response of 82 newlyweds, Karney found that the couples (participants) recorded more satisfaction if the woman is good looking than the man, compared to when the man looks better or they have equal attractiveness.

He noted that regardless of the extent to which the woman looks better than the husband, the difference, in favour of the woman is all that matters.

He noted that men are more readily disposed to holding on to a pretty wife than lose her to anyone less, thus, the men tend to do things that would sustain the relationship, unlike having the tendency to take the woman for granted if they are more good looking.

He added, “Both spouses tended to behave more positively when wives were more attractive than their husbands and more negatively when husbands were more attractive than their wives. This is because unlike men, physical attractiveness is less important to women, in contrast, relative attractiveness may only affect them through its effect on their husbands.”

Reacting to the study, a psychologist, Prof. Oni Fagboungbe, said an ugly man tends to see an attractive woman as an asset that should be preserved and appreciated, thus he would want to nurture the relationship. He added that it is also possible for men who are handsome to take a less attractive partner for granted because of the likelihood of being able to go after better looking women.

He said, “The reason why some women marry less attractive men is if a lady is conscious of her beauty, then, she would want someone who can appreciate her and help her to preserve it, and ugly men will value them more than handsome men. For ugly men, it is a sort of psychological compensation for the ugliness and they could use it as a form of defence mechanism. Thus, an ugly man will pay whatever price payable to get a beautiful lady.”