Hehe....Marriage counsellors normally advise
that partners know themselves before tying the nuptial knot. This period
of observation is called courtship – when partners get to know more
about themselves. However, people are of the opinion that no matter how
long a courtship is, partners seldom get to know everything about
themselves. In the light of this...Fidelis Chidi blog asked some people what
their actions will be if they find out after wedding that their spouses
belong to a cult group or an armed robbery gang
It’s dangerous living with a dangerous man
No
one should ever live with an armed robber or a cultist. I think there
may come a time when they will fight among themselves and what they do
usually is to take revenge on the innocent – their loved ones. If my
husband is a cultist, I’ll find every means to quit the relationship. In
this kind of scenario, separation will not be out of hand. By
continuing to live with him, I am only endangering my life and that of
my children. It’s very dangerous living with a dangerous man.
Opeyemi Olosunde-Jooda
I’ll report him, probably
By discovering about his true nature
myself, that means he is not ready to repent. If he had repented, he
would have told me this as part of his past when we were in courtship.
He would have apologised for all he did and he would have been
remorseful. Finding out on my own means I am endangering my own life.
Seriously, it is a complicated issue and I may consider reporting him to
the police. This is also a risky thing to do, considering the fact that
his members may want to retaliate. So if I should report him, I must
have found a way of escape forever, or at least for a long period of
time.
Etolor Kemes
I’ll keep quiet
In this kind of scenario, I will ask
myself, ‘What if I raise an alarm about the situation and the police
arrest us both?’ Will they not think that we’re together and I’m only
trying to present myself as a saint? What if she too lies against me and
thinks, ‘Well, if you’re bringing me down, I must destroy you too?’
Even personally, I will find it weird to report her. I will stay with
her and keep quiet, because I know she can’t harm me. She’s in love and
this will even make her to be protective of me. I’ll live my life as if
nothing is happening. After all, all men have the natural tendency to be
evil.
Akande Emmanuel
I’d consider myself stupid
Before I married her, I must have known a
bit about her. I think it’s only a man who is not a good observer that
will fall into this kind of situation. Truth be told, how could I not
know my wife is a cultist or armed robber before marrying her? I would
have known her friends, the kind of group she mixed with. I would know
her family background; I would know whether she’s a nocturnal person,
and many others. I must have carried lots of research before being
engaged to her. But if I had done all this and still didn’t know, that
means I must have been stupid all this while. I’ll live with it since
it’s my action that has landed me in that problem.
Kehinde Oyedele
I’ll run from home someday
I cannot give a definite answer right
now; it’s just too complicated. There are so many questions that will
trouble my heart – such as whether to report him to the security
agencies, or live with it, or ask family and friends. But all the same, I
think it will be dangerous letting so many people learn of the matter.
Once I find out, I can confront him and ask whether he wants to repent.
If he does, I can still risk living with him, but if I see no sign of
him doing that, one day, when he is not around, I’ll pack my things and
run away from him – to where he won’t know.
Preye Inoru
Divorce could be considered
Well, divorce won’t be wrong in this
kind of scenario. This is simply because her lifestyle will affect mine
adversely and if we have kids, it will also affect them. How can an
armed robber or cultist value the lives of her kids when she is
destroying others? To militate against any consequences in the future,
it is better to divorce her and get a new life. A new but hopeful
beginning is better than a painful story in the end.
Onoja Emmanuel
I’ll definitely quit
I will be very afraid of him. It is
possible that one day, there is a clash among rival groups. When that
happens, it’s either he gets himself killed or he’s arrested by security
operatives, thereby making him to spend the rest of his life in prison.
What kind of marriage is that? The consequences of marrying such a
person could be so deadly, but they are avoidable. I cannot afford to
live a painful life by marrying a wrong person. We will definitely call
it quits.
Shekinnah Komere
I can’t endanger my life
That’s a very dangerous woman. That
means she will be having meetings with evil people like her and they
will always be planning of who to murder. That’s exactly the kind of
person one should not live with. It is dangerous. Sooner or later –
except she repents – she will be killed or be arrested by the police,
and that will be her end. I’m not seeking for a brief marriage, so it’s
better to end the marriage and go our separate ways.
Olusegun Amos
I will seek counsel
The best thing to do in this matter is
to seek counsel from trusted people. I know there will be lots of
experiences by other people on how to handle the situation. So, rather
than panic and being afraid, a wise counsel will do. While I’m doing
that, I could also be praying for a change in his life. I have to also
admit that the evil he had done could haunt my children (if we have any)
and I. All the same, I will simply seek for the elders’ counsel and
also think thoroughly before taking any action.
Opeyemi Ayodeji
If she quits, we’ll run to a safe place
I will consider separation from her for
the time being, but that does not mean I’ll divorce her. if she’s talked
to, who knows whether she will repent? The only problem here, however,
is if she quits the group, the members may want to harm her. If we then
report to the police, wouldn’t she be implicated likewise? It’s a
complicated issue, but I can cope with her. If she quits the group, we
can run to a safe place where she cannot be traced.
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