SEE RESPONSES ABEG.......If someone you have been dating for 10 years leaves you to marry another person, what will you do?

hehehehe.....Before a marriage takes place between two people, courtship has always been considered  as a basic ingredient. But the argument has always been about how long it should last. While some prefer a short courtship of months, others believe that the longer the better. For some inexplicable reasons, people go into courtship for as long as ten years. Even after this long period, if a partner dumps an old friend and marries a new flame, Fidelis Chidi blog asked some Nigerians what would be their reaction

I will repay him by marrying his richer friend – Temidayo William, Student

I cannot date somebody for 10 years if he does not propose to me. And it depends on why it happened. But if he dumps me for no good reason, I will repay him by marrying one of his richer friends.

I’ll go on vacation far away – Mark Hule, Social commentator

I will try to recover from the shock, I know it won’t be easy, but I will go for a vacation far away and engage in an activity that will take my mind off the person.

The first thing I will do is to approach the person and see if we can work something out but if a solution can’t be found, then the best is to move on.

I will move on – Blessing Ukatu, Customer Relations Executive

Well, I will feel very bad that somebody I have given 10 years of my life would treat me that way but all the same, I would simply move on. I believe relationships are an avenue to learn more about each other and develop strength in our weakest areas. Nobody would treat his or her lover that way if indeed it was genuine love they felt for the person in the first place. The end of a relationship, no matter how long it is, cannot be the end of life. For me I will simply move on and trust God for the best.

I’ll hire a therapist to purge me of negative emotions – Fifehanmi Bankole, Executive and Life coach

If a person I have dated for 10 years leaves me for someone else, what would I do? With the benefit of hindsight because I was actually jilted from a relationship that lasted about three years, my reaction to the lady’s decision would be first, critical enquiry to ascertain the major reason for her leaving because people leave people for different reasons – sometimes flimsy and funny reasons and sometimes because of real issues. Because of the longevity of time, emotions and other resources invested, I will try my best, with absolute dignity, to make her see reasons why we can still make the relationship work. If my pertinent persuasions fall on deaf ears, I will then thank God for a time well invested and ask Him to reward me for the loss.

Also, I will approach a therapist to ensure that any bottled-up anger and negative emotions are appropriately dissipated even if it means shedding tears. Then, I will focus on my life and take a break from relationships for about three months, maybe work with a Life Coach to get clarity on what I really want from life and in a woman. After that, I’ll be rejuvenated to give love another chance. True love is always a beautiful thing.

I won’t attempt to hurt him back – Fatima Pedro, Telecoms worker

I will surely break down for some time but the fact is that I won’t attempt to hurt the person back in return if after all my efforts for us to settle fail. After a while, I will gather myself and go into another relationship and move on.

It’s dangerous to be with someone who doesn’t love you – Akinsanya Adeboye, Financial service analyst

For me as an individual, I will not be happy but all the same, I won’t let the situation weigh me down. I will take my time before starting another relationship so as to get over the former relationship. I will surely seek a mutual reconciliation, which will involve the people who know us together but if she’s bent on leaving, I can’t stop her because it’s a dangerous thing to be with someone who doesn’t have love for you. I will try to talk to her, beg and appeal to her but if she bluntly refuses, I will let go.

I will preoccupy my mind with better things – Emannuela Ochuko, Student

There is no point killing myself if for instance such happens because even if I do, the guy would still go ahead to date and marry another lady. I know it will hurt me a lot; all I am going to do is preoccupy my mind with valuable things that can improve my life. If I keep begging a guy like that to come back to me it will only give him the chance to hurt me the more and that’s not worth it.

I will make her life miserable – Abiodun Olowu, Social critic

If I am at fault, I will move on though it’s easier said than done but if she leaves me for a person who is richer and high up the social class than me, then I will make her life miserable. I will let her know that you can’t eat your cake and have it.

I will confront him face to face – Chidinma Longe, Entrepreneur

I will feel bad but there is nothing I can do. I will just ask that I see him face to face so that he could tell me what I did that made him do such a thing. That will help me prevent such from happening in my next relationship.

I’ll take it that we were never made for each other – Inibehe Effiong, Human rights lawyer

I will simply move on and never look back because it means that the person was never mine. We were never made for each other.

But I will also examine closely what could have motivated the person to leave me for another man. If it is an attitudinal issue, I can make adjustments on my attitude and character. But if it is materialistic, I will consider the lady undeserving of my worries.

However, that will not derail my self-confidence. People’s rights to freedom of association and choice should be respected. Such is the vicissitude of life.